This is one of those ‘sorry I haven’t written much though I know barely anyone will read this anyway’ posts, but, when you’ve been unable to blog for a while it feels almost necessary to just get something down and then hopefully the flow will return. I haven’t written many posts (though some have been quite long!) and it’s a shame because it’s roughly my one year blogaversary and I have not got much to show for the past year, but really, the last few months have been such a whirlwind of big change and general craziness it’s been fairly impossible for me to function normally, let alone find the time to take pretty pictures and write about them.
Since April, life has been a lot more complicated, I tried to keep posting about some of the good things that been happening, but truth be told it’s been the hardest few months of my life. I won’t go into too much detail, but my mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and Multiple Myeloma (a form of blood cancer) back in April and after having a mastectomy and starting chemotherapy in May/June we thought things had been hard and scary enough. Then she had a heart attack as a result of forming a blood clot, which was caused by her treatment, and she almost died in July. As a result of this, she has suffered some heart damage as well as being diagnosed with a condition related to the blood cancer called Amyloidosis, which is described simply as protein that builds up on the organs – in mums case it’s her heart and spleen.
Witnessing this all unfold has been a living nightmare that I wish I could wake up from. Amazingly my mum has managed to keep a smile on her face most of the time and is tackling this with the superhuman strength and courage with which she has tackled every horrible thing that has happened to her in her life and I couldn’t be more proud. Now things have settled down and mum is a little bit more her normal self, having good days and bad. She still has a long way to go but her new treatment seems to be giving her a easier time of it, so fingers crossed she continues to improve.
This is the reason the past few months have been tough, i’ve experienced a cocktail of horrible and terrifying emotions that I can barely put into words and won’t really try to.
Along with the really bad things that have been happening there has been a lot of good. Another thing that has made the last few months a bit crazy is that me and Steve moved into our first house! It all happened really quickly, quicker than expected and probably at the worst time, but now we’re in and things have started to settle down it’s the best thing ever! We got the keys a couple of days after my mum had the heart attack, so moving in wasn’t a huge priority and the shine was taken away from the excitement of it all bit.
Instead of just being excited and incredibly happy, I felt worried and guilty about moving out of my mums house at such a awful time. We didn’t rush to get in though, we spent a long time painting and getting rid of the awful cigarette smell created by the previous owner and once mum was feeling a lot better we moved in. There is still so much that needs doing and it is still continuing to take up a lot of our time but it’s getting there.
It finally feels like I have time to breathe a little, the last few months have moved so quickly and so much has happened, it’s all a bit bewildering. Anyway, hopefully I will now be able to post more, I think about blogging all the time but never manage to get anything down, even though it’s something i’m really enjoying. It’s nice to have my own little corner to talk about the things i’m interested in regardless if anyone is listening. A lot of other stuff has happened over the past couple of months but i’ll save the rest for another post!